Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Today's Tangents

So there's a guy at work who's the most negative person I know. He just exudes this purplish-black energy, and it trails him wherever he goes like smoke. Or maybe it's negative in the sense that it sucks away positive energy, like a black hole. Whenever he talks, he juts his teeth out at you and forces his voice out, even when it's not loud. When he's pissed about something, everyone knows it. He's the elephant in the living room that everyone makes room for and nobody ever calls out.

It's been an interesting day. I had lunch with an old friend with whom I could talk for hours. After lunch, my headache was gone, even though I sucked down Mountain Dew for most of it. One of our topics of discussion was careers.

This week at work I'm evaluating myself for our annual review period. I'm not very far off the mark I set so many months ago, except that I thought 120 hours of training by year's end was reasonable (I've done 36). But for some reason my sense of accomplishment flounders as I read some of my objectives and assessments. They just don't seem like they'll get me anywhere.

Last year at this time I was blossoming: learning new things every week, and practicing what I would eventually become the local expert at. This year I'm so underwhelmed it's annoying. I know my focus is elsewhere; I know my energy is different; I know my interests are not the same. But you know--my goals should not be any different now than they were then. Because guess what? I haven't done anything significant in the past 12 months. Maybe my own realization is what's got me down.

Maybe this is what I need: some slap in the face, some view from the mirror. what it'll get me is, so far, a mystery.

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