Thursday, March 21, 2013

Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally

“Idiots,” I mumbled under my breath as I saw yet another math-themed meme on my Facebook feed. This one read: “3+3x0+1=? ‘Like’ if 7! Comment if 4!” I mourned the wane of human intelligence and considered the simplicity of the order of operations and the beauty of the only pure science in the universe. The answer to this question wasn’t—would never be—either multiple choice or up for discussion!

“This’ll show them,” I thought as I entered the answer and prepared a tirade for anyone who might have considered themselves bright for doing anything other than dismissing this ridiculous game, especially those who engaged in arguments over why different answers might be correct. I took particular pleasure in insulting one person couldn’t even be bothered to type the full words “you” or “your.” After a smug and self-satisfying click of the post button, I went about my day.

It took less than an hour: throughout the higher functions of my morning, a thin doubt forced its way into my esoteric superiority and crumbled my confidence. In a panic, I went back to the comment to delete it, only to find that someone else had used it in their own tirade against my apparent ignorance. He took particular pleasure in using my words against me. His last insult to me was appropriately blistering: he called me an idiot.
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This was meant to be a 55, but grew into something a little bigger. Enjoy!