FFF-55 draft: Disappointment

(Written 23 March 2011.)

I made up my mind a long time ago. I resolved to set expectations for myself that were higher than everyone else's. That way, I'd at least satisfy most people, probably impress some, and hardly ever disappoint anyone but myself.

So far, it hasn't really gone as planned. At least, not from what she says.


* * * * *

55: Days and Nights

(Written 14 December 2012. Time to publish.)

There are days
I can’t see it coming,
Days of laughter and smiles.

There are nights
I wonder why it’s taking so long,
Nights of tight-clenched teeth and hushed arguments.

And the times in between
I just don’t know what’s happening.
Maybe nothing. Maybe that’s why it needs to end.

But what if I’m wrong?

* * * * *
FFF-55 Vol. XLVIII.

Marital Aide

Written 18 October 2013

It hurt, to be sure, but I had to say it. Within seconds, years of waning hope turned into anticipation of months of mutual agony and bitterness. We both knew it was coming, of course, but denial is a powerful marital aide.

Movement is good. When you’re at the south pole, every direction is north.

55: Mandela

The day the Old Father died, nations mourned. They sang in every tongue of his sacrifice and deeds, and though countless tears were shed, millions smiled because, thanks to him, they could.

I was but one that day, but it was the first day I lived as if I alone could make a real difference.
* * * * *
FFF-55 Vol. LXV. Tell a story in exactly 55 words. Go see G-Man. Dedicated to the life of Nelson Mandela, July 18, 1918-December 5, 2013.

55: Birthday

Image credit

The day of his birthday, I always stressed a little. I wanted everything right: dinner, card, dessert, and family around the table. I grilled steaks, and we ate like kings.

Later that night, I put the sealed envelope into my drawer, next to five unopened birthday and Father’s Day cards.

I really miss my dad.

* * * * *

FFF-55 Vol. LXIV. Tell a story in exactly fifty-five words. Go see G-Man. In honor of my dad, who would have been 69 today.

55: Anonymity Not Included

(Republished 6 January 2016)

I was in town on business and we’d met in a bar. Her perfume and eyes were intoxicating. “Gotta go; work tomorrow,” she said while dressing.

Next morning, I waited for the plant manager. I heard the click of shoes behind me, caught a familiar scent, and turned to look into those familiar blue eyes.
* * * * *
FFF-55 Vol. LXIII. Tell a story in exactly fifty-five words. Go see G-Man.

55: First Love

Image Source

The first time I saw her, I was atop the geodesic dome. Her perfect caramel skin and flowing black hair enthralled me, even across the playground. An unfamiliar lightness swirled in my stomach. I turned to my friend to inquire, “Who’s that new kid?”

Her name was Sonora. Suddenly the wood-chip air turned lovely sweet.
* * * * *
FFF-55 Vol. LXII. Tell a story in exactly fifty-five words. Go see G-Man.

55: Sister

The bike, the chair, the Sister, assorted accoutrements, and a dog named Trail: these will be the contents of our convoy in a mere handful of hours.

Years ago she moved away. I hope she’s found what she needs, because what I really need is her, within sharing-a-beer distance.

My best friend is coming home.

55: The Love of the Beautiful

Image credit: This is kind of gross.

When I was done, I smiled and looked at my work. The detail was exquisite: every finely crafted wheel and cog shone brilliantly as it turned. I carefully wound the spring and held my creation aloft, and it lit gently into the air, fluttering on rice paper wings.

“Strength,” I said, “is an earthly monster.”
* * * * *
FFF-55 Vol. LX. Tell a story in exactly fifty-five words. Go see G-Man. An ode to Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Artist of the Beautiful, a short story that changed my life. (Also relevent: A Life Without Beauty.)

55: Culture Shock

Image credit

They sway in and out of the classroom, and I sit amazed. Being back in school is fun, it’s true, and certainly useful, but doing it as a 40 year old presents certain challenges: family, work schedule, kids’ sports…

And right now, the twenty-something girl who just walked in wearing yoga pants. 

Just shoot me.

* * * * *

FFF-55 Vol. LIX. Tell a story in exactly fifty-five words. Go see G-Man.

55: Emergence

Image Source: sethskim.com

I’m not sure what changed; I became aware of it all almost suddenly: unpaid bills, perpetual arguments, corners of the house buried in clutter, unfinished grief. Not that I hadn’t had my hands on it all every day for the last twenty years…

Now there was a new sensation as I cleared the rubble: daylight.
* * * * *
FFF-55 Vol. LVIII. Tell a story in exactly fifty-five words. Go see G-Man.

55: Best Served Cold

He had no idea I’d be there; the look on his face was priceless.

Later, when his wife was questioned, she’d report that he’d failed to meet her, that she thought he’d missed his flight, since that had happened before.

But in reality, he was becoming a permanent part of the new terminal’s concrete foundation.
* * * * *
FFF-55 Vol. LVII. Tell a story in exactly fifty-five words. Go see G-Man.

55: Climax

Image source

Lightning—and your face lit up above me. A half second later, thunder crashed like artillery outside, and we met at our destination, bursting into each other in both body and spirit.

Several long seconds passed in the clouds overhead as the rumbling faded away into the miles, and you leaned down to kiss me.
* * * * *
FFF-55 Vol. LVII. Tell a story in exactly 55 words. Go see G-Man.

55: Discovery

Image source: Moriah Cemetary

We never thought anything of it, usually. Cars came and went through those woods all the time. But last night something was different.

This morning my brother and I walked through there and discovered why: a freshly dug mound a hundred yards off the road in a gully, with human hair visible on one end.
* * * * *
FFF-55 Vol. LVI. Tell a story in exactly 55 words. Go see G-Man.

55: Castilleja

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The day she passed, I walked out of the house into a vast field of Indian paintbrush. The sun and the warm Missouri wind went swept into and through me, pulling out the broken pieces of jagged years. My whole world focused bright orange as the prairie fire took hold, and I've never gone back.

* * * * *

FFF-55 Vol. LV. Tell a story in exactly fifty-five words. Go see G-Man.

This 55 is dedicated to my grandmother, who was in hospice care when I wrote it. She passed a few days after. Rest in peace, Grama Hobgood, 11 March 1924-13 May 2013.

55: Dreamgirl

Image source

Our bodies fit perfectly together, inside and out. Hands and mouths explored, found soft and hard places, caressed and groped, tenderly and hungrily. She was familiar but I didn't know why; dreams have a way of concealing some truths, and also revealing others.

When I woke, I could still feel the softness of her lips.

* * * * *

FFF-55 Vol. LIV. Tell a story in exactly 55 words. Go see G-Man.

55: Heartstrings

Years of rigging

Fill up this chamber

Ropes and pulleys and anchors

Cables and swivels and hooks

Turnbuckles and swage sleeves and fiddle blocks

All connected to a central cardioid apparatus

That allow each operator

Large and small, young and old, begrudged and limerenced

To pull and twist and manipulate

The strings of my heart.

* * * * *

FFF-55 Vol. LIII. Tell a story in exactly 55 words. Go see G-Man.

55: Brother

On a dark April night when I was nine, my aunt arrived hurriedly. Mom and dad rushed out the door. There were confusion and excitement and fear, and tears of uncertainty. I remember standing at the old front door, being consoled in a way I’d never experienced.

The next day, I had a baby brother.
* * * * *
FFF-55 Vol. LII. Tell a story in exactly fifty-five words. Go see G-Man.

55: Fantasy Story Excerpt

Image credit: Max Gabl & Niel Wray, via Michael & Denise Okuda

Dropping out of the clouds, we could see the palace and surrounding waters. It was truly breathtaking: the whole of it could not possibly have been seen from the ground. The entire cabin fell silent as we descended, each of us wondering anew what was in store during the next few years of our apprenticeships.
* * * * *
FFF-55 Vol. LI. Tell a story in exactly fifty-five words. Go see G-Man.

55: Getaway Weekend

Forty long hours of work. Eight for class, and eight more on homework. Six or seven in the car. Three at the gym (four if you’re good).

But on that Friday afternoon, knowing you’ll soon be surrounded by trees, the tension slips away like a long, slow exhale. I can already smell that fire pit.
* * * * *
FFF-55 Vol. L. Tell a story in exactly fifty-five words. Go see G-Man.