16 April 2016
Today, when she gave me my merit increase letter for the year, KZ told me if I'm unhappy with my salary, I should complain to someone who cares, because she doesn't.
Her tone wasn't malicious, but rather exhausted. I get that she has a lot going on right now: with work, with family...but who doesn't? Or, to give the benefit of the doubt, maybe her stuff isn't routine, but she knows damn well I have some non-routine stuff happening too. I don't use my stuff as an excuse to sound snotty or sarcastic, and neither should she.
She also made at least two vague references to things I should think about, including one specific to a scenario in which I seek employment elsewhere. KZ and I have a history with these kinds of wink/nod conversations, but I'm not sure today's were meant to compliment my ability to understand, as they usually are. Rather, I interpreted them as passive aggressive hints that she's losing patience with how I operate within the group, or handle my career, or something along those lines.
To give credit where it's due, KZ did tell me she tried to give me a better raise, but wasn't allowed to. I get that she's frustrated, but I'm the wrong person to take that out on. If she's setting herself up defensively in case I'm upset by that, that's not my issue.
I really don't feel like I have an ally in her much anymore.