Failing this bad is an art form; you should see some of my previous work. I’ve left wrecks they could write an article about in Time magazine, or that would make an episode of Entertainment Tonight. If people got paid for this stuff, I’d be a billionaire.
The method is simple: be hopelessly empty inside.
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FFF-55 Vol. VI. Tell a story in exactly 55 words. Go see G-man.