Friday, July 20, 2012

55: Brothers

I watched his body fall, and he, helpless, flailed uselessly into the canyon. For the first several meters, his eyes begged mine for a reason, but we both understood why this was happening. I could still smell the burning fat and flesh, feel the deep shame of rejection...

From behind, someone called to me: “Cain?”
* * * * *
FFF-55 Vol. XL. Tell a story in exactly fifty-five words. Go see G-Man.
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12 comments:

  1. Maude LynnJuly 20, 2012 at 12:45:00 PM EDT

    Good one!

    ReplyDelete
  2. BubbaJuly 20, 2012 at 2:20:00 PM EDT

    "Am I my brother's keeper?" I'm sure God knew the story.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJuly 20, 2012 at 2:46:00 PM EDT

    wow. scalding stuff. very effective 55!

    ReplyDelete
  4. happygirlJuly 20, 2012 at 3:22:00 PM EDT

    The emotion in 55 words is strong. The voice from behind made the hairs on my neck rise.

    ReplyDelete
  5. happygirlJuly 20, 2012 at 3:23:00 PM EDT

    The emotion in 55 words is strong. The voice from behind made the hairs on my neck rise.

    ReplyDelete
  6. G-ManJuly 20, 2012 at 3:47:00 PM EDT

    Linc...
    A 55 of Biblical proportions!!!
    Most excellent job My Friend.
    Thanks for playing, thanks for your support
    Have a Kick Ass Week-End

    ReplyDelete
  7. izzyJuly 20, 2012 at 5:12:00 PM EDT

    Oh my good surprise! -it is tough sometimes to make things short :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. ScarletJuly 20, 2012 at 6:25:00 PM EDT

    Like the short biblical story and picture too ~

    Very nice share ~

    ReplyDelete
  9. Brian MillerJuly 20, 2012 at 6:35:00 PM EDT

    oh nice retelling of this one...and the rest is history or our bloodline...

    ReplyDelete
  10. author.nara.maloneJuly 20, 2012 at 7:59:00 PM EDT

    hook just grabs you right up and drops you over the canyon rim, but you saved a good punch for the end.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AkelamaluJuly 21, 2012 at 12:12:00 PM EDT

    Oh well done! I like it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ann (bunnygirl)July 21, 2012 at 3:46:00 PM EDT

    Nicely done. Jealousy is a killer.

    ReplyDelete

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