Internal Dialogue...

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...Regarding Leftover Cake Sitting Out At Work

You really shouldn't be doing this.
-You are right.

You really shouldn't have had the first piece.
-That is true.

But you did, and that was fine. But a second is too much.
-Yes it is.

You'll feel gross later.
-Probably true.

Haven't you worked hard to get fit the last year and a half?
-Yes I have.

Now you'll have to work harder.
-Yes I will.

You sure this is worth it?
-No I'm not.

You're even hiding it from your coworkers. Don't you think that's a giant red flag that you shouldn't do this?
-Absolutely.

Then why are you...
-Oh shut up.